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What To Do If Your Spouse Starts Dating During Your Divorce


Some people can never imagine being with anyone other than their spouse during or after a divorce. Others, though, are sometimes eager to move on with their life and they may start dating while their divorce case is ongoing. This can be devastating for the spouse who is just trying to make it through their divorce case.

However, while it may be hurtful to hear that your spouse has started dating, is it illegal? Can you use it against them to obtain a better settlement in your divorce. In Suffolk County, as throughout the rest of New York, the answer is likely “no,” but there are some exceptions. Below, our Suffolk County divorce lawyer explains what they are.

Dating During Divorce is Not Considered Adultery

Many state courts throughout the country frown on a person dating while they are going through their divorce. In these states, dating before the divorce is finalized may be considered adultery. Spouses who date outside of a marriage in these areas of the country may forfeit their right to spousal support if they are intimate with anyone who is not their spouse.

New York, like California, is much more forward thinking when it comes to people dating while their divorce case is ongoing. There are some exceptions to this, though. If your spouse is spending marital assets on the relationship, such as when going on dates or buying gifts, it could hurt them during the divorce process. Additionally, if the new relationship places the children from the marriage in danger or confuses them, it will also hurt the spouse who is dating.

What to Do if Your Spouse Dates During the Divorce

Learning that your spouse is dating before your divorce is final is sometimes very difficult. Some of the steps to take now include:

  • If you can, try speaking to your spouse about the relationship in a polite and calm manner.
  • Try to reach an agreement with your spouse that you will both use discretion when it comes to new relationships.
  • Try to distract yourself from the hurt feelings you may be experiencing so they do not influence any of the decisions you make during the divorce process.
  • Remember that divorce is very similar to a business deal and try to keep your emotions out of it.
  • Do not post about your spouse’s new relationship on social media.
  • Ask your spouse to refrain from introducing any new partners to your children until at least the divorce is finalized, or they are in a committed relationship.
  • If you suspect your spouse’s new partner poses a risk to your children, or that your spouse is spending marital assets on the relationship, speak to a Suffolk County divorce lawyer.

Our Divorce Lawyer in Suffolk County will Answer Your Questions

When going through a divorce, you will have many questions. At the Law Office of Joshua Adam Kittenplan, P.C., our Suffolk County divorce lawyer can answer them while helping you navigate the process so you receive the fair settlement you deserve. Call us today at 631-499-0606 or reach out to us online to set up a free consultation.



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